I swear it, by my beard

John Reid was known as someone not aversed to swearing at officials. Perhaps I was just lucky but whenever I met him he was extremely personable and polite. Maybe he liked my face, but he used to just sit in his big chair, smiling and sipping his diet coke.
But one colleague faced the full wrath of Reid over some criminal justice ballsup involving sex offenders. The confrontation inspired a general discussion in the local a few days later about swearing Ministers. After more than a couple of pints we had got it down to the top three which Dr Reid had just snuck into.
Riding high at number two was Charlie 'the Dome' Falconer, whose description of colleagues and senior officials would have shamed a Clydebank docker. But out on his own was Frank '%&*!' Dobson (pictured). It's hard to refer to any of the anecdotes without infringing both libel and obscenity laws but Department of Health officials still laugh nervously at the mention of his name.
Tony Blair knackered Dobbo's career, you will recall, by forcing him to stand as Labour candidate against Ken Livingstone for London Mayor in 2000 when Ken went independent. He knew, we all knew, he was on a loser and eventually came third behind Stephen 'Nobber' Norris. Faced with a Dobbo and a Nobber no wonder Londoners voted for Ken.
I only spoke to Frank once. It was a training seminar about the work of select committees and he was guest speaker. When Labour was in Opposition, a friend used to call him Shadow Minister for Calling-for-Public-Inquiries. I resolved to ask FD a question including the words 'public inquiry.' It was hardly a forest of hands at the plenary and soon enough I was chosen to put a question to the Father Christmas lookalike. I croaked, "I was wondering Mr Dobson, what happens if the work programme of a select committee co-incides with that of an ongoing PUBLIC INQUIRY, whether there is any particular protocol followed."
Frank breathed in, pointed his Uncle Albert beard at me, then pausing for a moment uttered, almost with relief, the words, "I haven't the faintest idea."