Monday 22 September 2008

And lead us not into an Election..


No, the picture, left, is not David Miliband estimating Labour's chances of re-election. In fact, his theme was, if anything, defying the fatalism of defeat. If he really believes that, he is not New Labour, he is Evangelical Labour.
'Brains's conference speech today was, as usual, totally bereft of any decent gags. You've got to pity the delegates; the poor buggers have been hard-arsing it in that conference hangar since Saturday morning with barely a good pun to cheer their spirits. The place looks strangely empty with banks of unused seating - there would probably be a better turnout if they put Mama Mia on instead.
Fortunately for everyone, Ministers have been instructed to limit their speeches to a mere six minutes. The downside is there no other option for them but to regale a list of bite-size soundbites.
Dave began by setting out his family's journey, as if it were the opening two minutes of "Who do you think you are?" The story of his Jewish grandfather being refused re-entry to the country in 1945 (he selfishly went to Belgium in search of his wife and child) reminded us immigration authorities have always employed plenty of officious pencil-necks.
But after the personal bit, everyone was looking for a sign, just a subtle hint of disloyalty or independence of spirit which would indicate his intention to move boldly against the PM. But no dice.
What did come was a personal commendation, " to you Gordon" thanking him for his great efforts in improving the world's aid budget. After so much recent in-fighting, Gordon found it impossible to take the compliment with any grace. Brown's tired and quietly resentful smile of 'appreciation' was like that of the amputee whose surprise present turns out to be a new pair of trainers.

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