I Was Born with a Scowl on My Face

In a pitiful attempt to appear 'down wit de Yout' the Prime Minister anounced his latest plan on reforming MPs' expenses on Youtube, rather than explaining himself to Parliament. I am not sure who is advising the PM on communications after the recent beheading of Damian McBride but this was a very avoidable error. He has obviously been ordered to accentuate that sickly and almost randomly applied grin. See how much of this you can bear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBXj5l6ShpA.

Simon Hoggart in the Guardian, as ever with 'le bon mot', described it as "the smile a 50-year-old man might use on the parents of the 23-year-old woman he is dating, in a doomed attempt to reassure them."

Brown's intentions were about as genuine as that smile. He announced a vote next week on moving to an attendence allowance from the current second home payments system. All MPs know this is a highly party political matter and throwing in the (reasonable) requirement of full declaration of other jobs was obviously meant to entrap the Tories. In the interests of balance here is Tory Chief Whip, Eric 'Donut' Pickles making a damn fool of himself on Question Time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYl6WW5ypRE&feature=related

It is nonsense on stilts to think PM will get a vote through in a week. It would be just about possible if there were a close to unanimous view of what should replace the current arrangements. But it is far from clear how the introduction an Euro Parliament style £150 per day tax-free allowance, on top of a fair salary, will gain anything like popular support.

Brown said the main objective would be to, "save money." But there is no chance the relevant sums can be done in time to prove that point. Even if they arrived at a figure of £150 and an MP attended for 160 days out of 365 then (s)he would be entitled to £23,000 or exactly the same as the current second home allowance.

The unanswered questions on how it would work in practice are legion. For example, Ministers (and their shadows) are often away from Parliament on official business. Will those days count? Will that principle apply to backbenchers? How much of a day will count as one day? What about sick leave? How will the Fees Offices with only five staff cope? What are the equivalent situations in other countries? What assessments have been made on their fairness, value for money or public support? Of course, Brown may have timed his announcement before the apocalypse of public opinion descends when a million MPs' receipts are published.

The one area where all parties are agreed is the abolition of second home allowance for Cabinet ministers who take a 'Grace and Favour' home. Geoff 'Mogadon' Hoon could not believe his luck when the Fees Office confirmed he could get his full allowance, rent out the property and then live in luxury for nowt. Not all in the Cabinet have the same brass neck as Hoon but when a Government has been in power too long the inner cries of a Minister's conscience seem to get fainter and fainter.